Welcome back to Race to Git Gud, where I’m plowing through FromSoftware’s punishing hits with the determination of someone just slightly above average. Today, join Meep Geese as he slices through Darkroot Garden, descends into Blighttown, and makes a fool of gravity, lava, and himself in equal measure.

Bell #1: Ring It and Flee

Meep awakens outside the fog gate to the Bell Gargoyles, Solaire’s sweet summon sign glowing like a beacon of hope. One tap, one Praise the Sun, and we’re stepping into the fray.

The Gargoyles? Carved up like a weekend brisket. Tail severed, Gargoyle Helm acquired, first bell rung. I climb the tower, meet the absolute chucklefuck guarding it, grab the best emote in the game, and bounce.

Titanite, Trees, and Two Deaths Later

Back at Andre’s, a familiar foe lurks below—the Titanite Demon. His moves are muscle memory at this point, and despite a single close call, he’s down.

Into Darkroot Garden we go, Claymore swinging like a buzzsaw. A few leafy lads later and—boom—ambushed by a Stone Knight’s slow spell. Death #5. Then again. Death #6.

Lesson learned. I regroup, adapt, and march forward. I loot the Elite Knight Set, summon Witch Beatrice, and prep for the next boss.

Moonlight Butterfly and a Very Lazy Witch

The Moonlight Butterfly is serene. Majestic. Graceful. And a complete pain in the ass without ranged attacks. That’s what Beatrice is for.

Except… she doesn’t do anything. Just vibes while I take magical haymakers to the face. Eventually, she helps out. Butterfly down. Ember claimed. Boss cleared.

Halberds, Hydras, and Half-Baked Planning

I push deeper into Darkroot with two goals:

• Grab the Grass Crest Shield (✓)
  
• Grab the Black Knight Halberd (✓)
  

I pop 10 Humanity for max drop rate. The Black Knight drops it. Jackpot!

Except… I can’t equip it. Classic Meep moment.

Worse? I skip grabbing Havel’s Ring and opening the Artorias Door—even with 20k souls in my pocket. Why? Because I put two points into Endurance and walked out like a chump without the hand-me-down ring.

Blighttown: Mildead and Lava Moms

Next stop: Valley of the Drakes. I trash my entire inventory trying to kill the Zombie Dragon, then descend into Blighttown like a fool with no Rusted Iron Ring.

Maneater Mildred invades and is absolutely no match. She dies. I roll through mud and mushrooms and stand before Quelaag: lava-wielding, hair-covered nightmare.

Mildred returns to help… and immediately melts in lava. Useless. I circle-strafe and fillet Quelaag myself. Second bell rung. I meet the Spider Sister, then dive briefly into Lost Izalith.

Ceaseless, Ceased

Through the Demon Ruins, I grab the Gold-Hemmed Set (criminally underrated) and bait Ceaseless Discharge into yeeting himself off a cliff. RIP, big guy. Lava cools. I flee the scene like a true hero.

Back to the Asylum: Slabs and Sadness

Now that Blighttown’s behind me, it’s time to grab the ring I should’ve gotten before Blighttown—the Rusted Iron Ring.

Warp to Undead Asylum. Kill Oscar. Revisit my cell. Drop into the Stray Demon’s arena. Somehow, I no-hit him. Who am I becoming?

I grab the Titanite Slab, the Peculiar Doll, and try to farm Black Knight Sword from two knights on the way out. Spoiler: I don’t get it.

Sen’s Funhouse and Iron Fumbles

Back at Andre’s Tower, Sen’s Fortress is now open. I ignore Siegmeyer, sprint through the trap circus, and summon Black Iron Tarkus like a true pro.

At the fog gate, I remember there’s a bomb-throwing giant. Too late. I get torched. Then I recover, circle the Iron Golem, and together with Tarkus, drop him.

A glowing ring of light appears.

I reach out to touch it.

Daily Stats

Total Playthrough Time: 2 hours, 30 minutes

Total Deaths: 6

Bosses Defeated Today:

• Bell Gargoyles
  
• Moonlight Butterfly
  
• Quelaag
  
• Ceaseless Discharge
  
• Stray Demon
  
• Iron Golem
  

Next up? Meep takes flight to the shining city of Anor Londo, where soaring archers, janky elevators, and an iconic boss duo await. Stay tuned.