Welcome back to Race to Git Gud, the only series where I barrel through FromSoftware’s greatest hits with the stubborn determination of someone just slightly above average. Today, Meep Geese rockets through the heavenly highs of Anor Londo and dives back into the muck to mop up some long-neglected bosses. Strap in.

Welcome to Anor Londo, Baby

After Meep’s second “Taxi Trip” — this time courtesy of some suspiciously jacked, winged demon lads — he gazes out over the glowing marble grandeur of Anor Londo. This is it. The click moment. The place where Dark Souls truly makes sense for most players. The design is tight. The vibes are immaculate. The pain is personal.

I’ve run this place so many times I could probably do it blindfolded, but I still carry the trauma of my Level One playthrough that died here. Sprinting through the golden capital and weaving past the giant knights, Meep eventually locks eyes with a familiar face: the Bell Gargoyle, back for round two. Sadly for him, Meep’s wielding the upgraded Black Knight Halberd — a weapon that makes short work of flying lizards and confidence alike.

Then it’s onto the cathedral catwalks, where Meep gracefully carves through Painting Guardians like he’s auditioning for Dancing With the Souls. One clean run — no damage. Just pure, uncut muscle memory guiding him to the central stairwell switch.

Shortcut City

Fueled by a fresh bonfire and brimming Estus, Meep stomps the pink demons guarding the staircase and casually makes the infamous silver archers look like extras in a high school play. Then comes the real trick: rather than take the scenic (and dangerous) route, Meep jumps the railing of the central spiral staircase — skipping one of the nastiest areas in the game. No regrets. This is about speed. This is about efficiency. This is about Git Gud.

On the other side, he finds the Giant Blacksmith, who immediately takes his hard-earned souls and beefs up the Halberd. Oh, and the Giant’s Set? Bought and stored for future fashion souls needs.

Ornstein & Smough: The Main Event

And now, the big one: Ornstein and Smough.

Arguably the most infamous boss fight in the game — two elite enemies at once, each with their own style, rhythm, and brand of pain. Meep doesn’t go in alone. He summons Solaire, the sun’s chosen hype man, to play distraction and soak up some punishment.

The fight is chaotic. Explosions. Leaps. Lightning. All the usual ballroom brawl madness. Smough goes down first, as tradition (and gear drops) demand, turning Ornstein into Mega Ornstein. A bigger, beefier, much more annoying version of himself. But jolly cooperation never fails, and the duo grind him into the dust.

Meep grabs the Leo Ring and Ornstein’s soul. Then it’s up the elevator to a truly glorious chest (hello, JRPG energy). There, Gwynevere grants Meep the Lordvessel — the game’s ultimate quality-of-life feature: fast travel. And like any rational person with access to a crossbow, Meep thanks her by shooting her in the face. The illusion collapses, the candles go out, and Anor Londo reveals its true, spooky self.

Smell ya later, ghosts. We’re warping back to Andre’s Tower.

Artorias and the Big Blue Smackdown

A quick 20k souls later and Meep’s got the Crest of Artorias in hand. Back through Darkroot Garden — which honestly deserves more love — he opens the sealed door and steps into the Forest Hunter Covenant’s playground.

Unfortunately, he’s in human form. Cue the blue invasion.

Yes, somehow, in 2025, people are still invading Dark Souls like it’s 2011. Meep locks on, gears up, and gets ready to show off everything he’s learned from slaying legendary beasts and dancing through Anor Londo.

Backstabbed. One-shotted. Instant L.

This is a good reminder that PvP in Dark Souls is a whole different beast. The Halberd might be a god-tier PvE weapon, but in PvP, it’s sluggish and predictable. And Meep is neither light on his feet nor fast enough to react to a katana-wielding sweatlord. He respawns, grabs his souls, and moves on, wounded ego in tow.

Sif, The Goodest Boy (RIP)

After killing some ghostly forest dwellers and running into the feral cousin of the Cheshire Cat, Meep joins the Forest Covenant — then instantly murders two of its members for their loot. Priorities. The reward? The Dark Wood Grain Ring, aka “ninja flip ring.” Extra invincibility frames and maximum anime edge.

The cat calls him a traitor and vanishes, but Meep has bigger prey in mind.

Sif — the legendary wolf wielding a greatsword in his mouth — stands guard over Artorias’s grave. It’s one of the most memorable, heartbreaking fights in the game. Or it would be, if Meep didn’t absolutely delete him with the upgraded Halberd. No limping. No tragic pause. Just vibes. And death.

Scrubbing the Depths

With a few bosses left unchecked, Meep backtracks to the Lower Undead Burg to square up with the Capra Demon. Once a rite of passage and a newbie-killer, Capra’s now more of a formality. That said, overconfidence nearly leads to Meep getting stunlocked to death. But “almost” only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Key in hand, Meep heads to the Depths — arguably the nastiest zone in the game. He rarely clears it in full and has no intention of doing so now. Instead, he beelines for the giant rat, cuts it down, dodges goop, and sprints into the Gaping Dragon’s arena.

Fun fact: he forgets to clear the upper level first. That means potshots from the Channeler above while fighting a skyscraper-sized centipede-lizard. Still, he chops the tail for the axe and finishes the job. Another one down.

Back to Firelink (Before the Madness)

Returning to Firelink Shrine, Meep drops the Lordvessel onto its pedestal and takes a long, slow breath. It’s about to get real. With the four required Lord Souls still untouched, it’s time to pick a path.

And because Meep is a glutton for punishment, he heads straight for the graveyard.

Yes. That graveyard.

Pray for him.

Daily Stats

• Total Playthrough Time: 3 hours, 17 minutes
  
• Total Deaths: 7
  
• Bosses Defeated Today:
  
  • Ornstein and Smough
    
  • Sif
    
  • Capra Demon
    
  • Gaping Dragon
    

Stay tuned for the next episode of Race to Git Gud as Meep braves the catacombs, reconsiders all his life choices, and probably gets body-slammed by a skeleton. Again.