Some of my earliest gaming memories orbit around two cartridges: Super Mario Bros. 3 and Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out!!. I remember sitting on the living room floor, watching my dad run through the NES lineup on the big family TV, effortlessly clearing a roster of exaggerated caricatures that Nintendo somehow doubled down on in the Wii remake. I’d always try to play, too—but as a dumb little kid with slow reflexes, I could really only make it through the first fight or two.

I was, however, an absolute menace to Glass Joe.

Man vs. Machine (and a Bunch of Stereotypes)

I love Punch-Out!!, even with all its extremely dated, very problematic versions of Russians, Indians, Japanese fighters, and more. The game is this stripped-down, strangely pure version of man versus machine. You’re Little Mac, the eternal underdog whose only real aspiration is to be the best boxer who’s ever lived.

It’s just you, a pair of green gloves, and the gray box with the tiny red light.

Your skill versus the cold calculations of a soulless clanker.

And for all its simplicity, it’s a blast every single time.

The controls are beautifully limited by the era: you can dodge left or right, block, and punch high or low. That’s it. Within that tiny move set, though, Punch-Out!! quietly makes a case for being one of the earliest proto–Souls-like games. It’s all about pattern recognition, timing, and punishing mistakes. You’ve even got a stamina mechanic—take or block too many punches and Mac is left gasping, able only to dodge while he tries to recover. Land a well-timed hit and you’re rewarded with a star, which you can cash in for a massive, screen-shaking haymaker.

It’s simple. It’s tight. It just works.

Circuits, Characters, and Controlled Chaos

You start in the Minor Circuit, scraping by against an initial batch of misfits:

• A Frenchman with a comically awful record
  
• A German who’s clearly way past his prime
  
• A Japanese fighter with the most unhinged eyebrows I’ve ever seen
  

From there, you climb.

The Major Circuit introduces Don Flamenco, a preening, rose-chomping Spaniard who struts his way into the ring. Then we get truly bizarre with King Hippo from Hippo Island—a walking puzzle fight—followed by Great Tiger from India with his teleporting uppercuts, and Bald Bull from Türkiye charging at you like a train.

The World Circuit is where things really escalate. You’re suddenly trading blows with Soda Popinski from the USSR, Mr. Sandman from Philadelphia (Go Birds), and Super Macho Man from Hollywood, California, who weaponizes spin like it’s a lifestyle. And all of this builds to that iconic final showdown with the champ himself: Mike Tyson.

Or, if you got the later release, Mr. Dream—aka “We Had to Change the Licensing, Don’t Worry About It.”

Learning the Patterns, Loving the Game

What’s always stuck with me is how distinct each fighter feels—not just in how they look (for better or, often, much worse), but in how they move. Every opponent has:

• A specific attack pattern
  
• Particular tells and openings
  
• Unique windows where you can turn the tide
  

Bald Bull’s Bull Charge is the perfect example. It’s a brutal, powered-up rush that will fold you if it lands. But if you thread the needle—time a punch to his gut right before he connects—you drop him instantly. That kind of tiny, precise interaction lit my kid-brain up. I wanted to learn every little exploit, every guaranteed knockdown, every safe window.

Punch-Out!! is a game that teaches you to watch, to listen, to observe tiny quirks: the blink, the shoulder twitch, the stutter-step. You’re not just mashing buttons; you’re studying a boss rush of human cartoons and trying to out-think them with a handful of inputs.

A Love Letter with Asterisks

This little retrospective is part love letter, part acknowledgement of the rough edges that come with revisiting older games. Punch-Out!! is tied to one of my sharpest childhood memories: sitting with my family, picking up NES controllers, and taking another run at the road to Mike Tyson, Doc Louis pedaling along on the bike as Little Mac jogs through that iconic training montage.

At some of the worst points in life, that possibility was always there: fire up the NES, lace up Mac’s gloves, and try again.

But revisiting it now also means looking directly at the caricatures that felt invisible to me as a kid and impossible to ignore as an adult. The game is still fun, still tight, still satisfying—but it comes with those big, flashing asterisks attached.

Punch-Out!! will always hold a special place on my mental shelf. Just… maybe don’t stare too hard at what some of those characters are saying about the world while you’re chasing that perfect run.